Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
