dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
