bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
