the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
