fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
