I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
