I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
