fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
