I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
