Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just high enough for therapy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
