I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
