Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
