I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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