Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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