definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
