I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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