I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
