Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
