Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
