I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
