Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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