girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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