Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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