I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize