you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
