Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize