If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
