Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
