I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
how drunk are you?
Several
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
