I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This is the high leading the old right now
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
