next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
