So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
