just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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