once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sarcasm needs its own font
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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