My nipple is on Facebook.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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