yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
