She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
