coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
