Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
