No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
