i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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