Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
