After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
