I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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