Banned from zoo.
Again?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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