I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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