We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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