I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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