one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
