My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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