dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone came in the potted fern
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