Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
