Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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