they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
