You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
