As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
