i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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