I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
