we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
