She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize