Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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