i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
