I think i peed on brittanys purse
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
