office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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