You made me cry and you don't even care
return my video game
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
