after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
