I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
