Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
