hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You took a bar mat shot.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
