so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
