the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
